As in, “Why-oh-why-oh-why do I get myself into these things?” Consider this the doubt-ridden and fearful post of the second version of my countdown to 13.1. Squinting into the horizon to catch a glimpse of the final goal of half marathon glory 3 months away, 13.1 seems like a great idea. Sure, no problem! I have plenty of time to train! What a great way to test my boundaries…and etc. From a distance of 3 weeks, cheery confidence is replaced by cautious optimism. Wow, nearly time for that already? Where did the time go? Well, I’ve gotten in some good long runs. I’m sure I can finish. It might even be fun!
With only 3 days to go, absolute terror sets in. What…were you…THINKING? Thirteen miles?! Whose idea of fun is this? Do you realize that you paid $60 to run around for two hours? Oh, and P.S…two hours is the optimistic estimate! Fall off the edge of the map again and it could be longer! Crazy woman.
Fueling this enjoyable frame of mind is the fact that my stupid, good-for-nothing foot hurts. Quite a bit. I entertained (or annoyed) Running Buddy on Monday with a reprisal of the “my foot hurts” musical comedy. Its opening number is called “Ow-ow-ow,” a repetitive delight based on the rhythm of every other foot strike.
There a couple of options for this: the first, and most likely, is that I’m suffering from a mild case of event hypochondria. I’m nervous, so I’m exaggerating a slight physical ailment to help take the pressure off myself. The second option…well, the second option has been so overshadowed by the logic of the first option that I’ve forgotten it. I think it involved a diagnosis of a rare and serious foot ailment previously associated with penguins in Antarctica and never before diagnosed in a human being. Highly unlikely.
The treatment for event hypochondria, per GTC-blogger Flemming, is to suck it up and get to the starting line. Traveling to Antarctica and living among the penguins, gaining their trust, and learning to communicate in order learn their remedies for an imagined foot ailment, while a viable option, doesn’t quite align with my three-day timeline. Besides that, I’m not a big fan of seafood.
See you at the starting line.