There’s this commercial on TV that really annoys me. It’s for some phone, and it starts with a sprinter in the blocks (holding a phone, because that makes a lot of sense) who says “I’m fast.” Then the gun goes off, and he takes off at a cartoonish pace. His legs are a blur but the upper half of his body is crystal clear as he carries on a monologue about the wonders of his great phone. The commercial closes with him winning the race while simultaneously sending a text message.
The whole “I’m fast, I have a fast phone” thing is a little corny. And of course, no one actually sends a text message during a sprint. What really bothers me, though, is that the fella finishes in 13 seconds. What race is that? Let’s see…he takes off on a curve, so that means he’s either running a 200m or a 400m dash. The text message he’s composing is sent to Jeremy Wariner, who’s a 400m phenom. Am I supposed to believe that someone just clocked a 13 second 400? Give me a break. 13 seconds for the 200 isn’t any more realistic. And 13 seconds for a 100m is pedestrian to the pros…not to mention the fact that the 100m does not start on a curve.
Hmph. Get it right, people! This would be like…I don’t know…someone throwing a field goal instead of kicking one. Or running down the basketball court without dribbling. Or throwing a pin at 10 bowling balls. Or like that one TV show I saw a long time ago where the main character ran an 800m race…in one lap. One lap? Ha!
Or possibly I need to find the button that silences my inner critic. If there is one.