I like to think that I’m not the type of person who generally jumps on bandwagons, but I often read MckMama’s blog and last week a “Not Me! Monday” post wrote itself. This can be a little confusing, but the basic rules seem to be admitting to embarrassing activities and covering it up with a facetious, “I wouldn’t do that! NOT ME!”
- Last week, I did NOT get outsmarted by a piece of technology. I’m a youngish, hip chica with an xbox avatar and a kinship with Adobe Creative Suite products. I most certainly do NOT get confused by all the data made available by the Garmin Forerunner. Not me! I’m much cooler than that.
- I did NOT determine that our toilet is leaking and diagnose the exact location of the problem (the washer for one of the bolts holding the tank to the seat is no longer sealing) and then inform Scott that I’m “not dealing with that this weekend” simply because I’m tired of messing with running water in our house. That’s irresponsible. I did not also sit in the bathroom measuring the slowness of the leak (1 drip per every 81 minutes) to rationalize my laziness. That would in itself be irrational. Not me!
- I have NOT been fighting Scott every step of the way with this “increased effort” training plan. This whole “duel” with Running Buddy is my idea. I gave him carte blanche to whip me into shape. I would not grumble and plead for mercy at every turn simply because I don’t want to go to the gym on a Sunday or run a mile interval on the track on Wednesday.
- I did NOT exact revenge in traffic. I have no problems with road rage whatsoever. If while on the way to work a stalled car in the center lane required me to merge right and I was initially unable to because a certain young gentleman was paying more attention to eating his Chik-fil-A chicken biscuit (they are good) than to traffic, I certainly wouldn’t take a certain evil pleasure in refusing to let HIM back into the “good lane” after he made an obscene gesture and swerved around me only to discover the reason I was inconviencing him with my presence. I wouldn’t do that. Not me!
- I did NOT confuse the leftover from Christmas, no-longer-current-postage Nutcracker stamps with the “forever” Liberty Bell stamps. Even if I did, I would not risk my reputation as a cheapskate by piling 2 stamps on a letter to avoid going to the post office and buying the $0.02 stamps or whatever would make up the exact difference. I would not let laziness win over frugality. Never!
- I have not semi-seriously considered shaving my head. I know that I would regret the decision immediately. I know that my hair is not absorbing as much heat as I think it is and that I’d waste a lot more money on sunscreen without it. I also know that females with voluntarily shaved heads aren’t exactly “in,” and that my husband would be slightly…how do you say…disappointed teed off. With all of this logic behind me, the real reason I’m still sporting a pony tail is NOT that I’m afraid of discovering an oddly shaped noggin underneath all this hair.
- I am not JUST NOW figuring out what Google Reader is and how to use it. I have ceded to requests to help the blog be more “Reader-friendly,” so of course I know exactly why Reader is going to make my life so much more enjoyable. I am not sad for and missing all of the extra clicking I used to do.
- I am NOT very, very proud of myself that I can trick the cat into coming out of the bathroom. She loves the bathroom but if allowed to remain there unattended will either eat toilet paper or open the shower door and lick the water from the floor. Either way, it ends with her throwing up a few days later. No fun. Because she loves the bathroom, the usual routine involves me picking her protesting, squirming body up and hauling her outside, much to the detriment of my clothes. That’s no fun either. I’ve discovered that I can entice her out of the bathroom by flicking a hair tie…lately, I’ve managed to cruely pretend to flick a hair tie with the same results. I do NOT find an innocent animal’s confusion hilarious. No sirree Bob.
Whew, was that therapeutic. Now I’m sure you’ve all revised your opinions on just how weird I am.