The Case of the Missing Clothes

I feel like I’m trapped in a Nancy Drew and/or Hardy Boys mystery. Several weeks ago, it occurred to me that I hadn’t seen one of my favorite sport bras in awhile. This was slightly annoying but didn’t concern me overmuch…I assumed it was in the laundry basket. Several cycles of wash/dry/fold later, I’m forced to face an unfortunate truth—the sport bra is missing.

“Okokok,” an imaginary teenage sleuth says, “let’s retrace your steps. When do you last remember wearing the sport bra?” Um, like I can remember that. I’ve been running a LOT lately. I can’t remember what I’m wearing every single day.

“Hmm,” says the sleuth. “That doesn’t help me solve your case.” Well, who asked  you? And why is there a voice in my head? I check each dresser drawer carefully, because maybe it slipped behind the drawer and is languishing at the bottom of the dresser. No dice. I check the shelf in the closet that houses running shirts and shorts, hoping that it’s somehow slipped in here…uh-oh. Where are my green shorts?

“Ah-ha! The plot thickens. This is much  more serious than simply a missing sport bra. How exciting!” You again? Geez. “Let’s look for clues!” Clues? Are you kidding me? Let’s go look in the dryer again and see if I missed it. Not in the dryer. Maybe in my car? No, only “need to be recycled” Wal-Mart bags and a fossilized french fry in the car. At work? No. At the gym? No. I’m much more likely to forget to bring clothing TO the gym than to forget to remove clothing FROM the gym.

“Time out. Can we PLEASE look at this logically? You can’t remember the timeline, you won’t let me look for clues, the least you can do is stop and think.” Ok. Stopping. I’m thinking…I’m thinking that there should be a reason why both the shorts and the sport bra should be missing at the same time. I’m forgetful, but not THAT forgetful. Why, that’s most of a running outfit! How could this happen? What would I do with a running outfit that is not in the laundry or put away neatly or hiding in my car…

Bingo. It was Mr. Green with the candlestick in the conservatory! I mean, they’re hanging on that little hook of the closet door because I wore them once sometime in the distant past but didn’t run very far so I figured they were good for another run before being deemed “laundry.” And then I forgot they were there.

Ta-da! The Case of the Missing  Clothes has been solved! Thank you, imaginary sleuth! On a separate note, does it seem like I’m having an inordinate amount of trouble getting “ready to run” these days? The watch calamity, vanishing wardrobe…what’s the deal?


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