Stupid Things I’ve Done…or, A Parenting Post

No, I haven’t gone for another walk around the neighborhood yet. Yes, I’d need to exercise more than once a week for it to become a “streak” and maybe even “get into shape” or possibly just “overuse quotation marks.” My first excuse is that it SNOWED here over the weekend. Actual snow. Like, ice particles falling from the sky. At the very, very butt end of March. Scott has been reminding me that in South Carolina, it’s been spring for a month…to which my rebuttal is — sure, but in another two weeks it’ll be summer. Blech.

My other excuse is that I’m tired. So very, very tired and while I know that a little exercise would be good for me, I just can’t seem to find the motivation to get out there and do it…or even put on my shoes.

So. Instead of a post about running/exercising, how about some more stuff about the baby? Hooray!

I’ve been a mommy for almost a month now and in that short span of time have already managed to do some incredibly stupid things. I blame the lack of experience. Or the sleep deprivation. Or maybe both.

My crowning achievement in the realm of stupid things thus far has been that one time in the middle of the night when I changed a diaper but put the wet, soggy one back on LilRunr’s bottom instead of a clean one…and even got him swaddled back up before I realized what I’d done. D’oh!

Poor kid. He didn’t ask for a rookie mom. It’s going to be quite a process to train me…although I like to think that I’m learning fast. A few of my lessons and some other random thoughts:

Lesson #1: The Baby Doesn’t Hate Me
Scott assures me this is true, and somewhere deep inside there’s a logical person who agrees. It’s easy to see in the way he follows me with his eyes and turns to find me when Scott’s holding him and he hears me talk. It’s harder to see when I’ve spent an entire day with Captain Cranky Pants and seem to have no power whatsoever to soothe him. Then Scott comes home and, like the Super Dad he is, has sent Captain Cranky Pants to napland in no time flat. While I’m grateful, I can’t help but wonder…why can’t I do that? What am I doing wrong? Does LilRunr hate me?

I know he doesn’t hate me. I know that babies cry and sometimes it’s no easy matter to soothe them. The “I’m hungry” cry is a cinch. The “I’m too tired to sleep” cry, however, isn’t so simple. And the crying with no apparent cause is more difficult still. Overall, LilRunr is a very good baby and I love Happy Baby just as much as Sleeping Baby just as much Captain Cranky Pants.

Lesson #2: Dang You, Moro Reflex!
So, apparently babies have this moro or “startle” reflex. If they hear a loud noise or think they’re going to fall, they fling their arms out to the side and snap to wide, wide awake. According to the pediatrician, this is a sign of normal neurological development, which is swell. Trying to beat the reflex to put the baby in his crib without waking him up, however? Not so swell. I lower him gently, gently, gently down…if all goes well, he’ll still be asleep when his back meets the mattress. Many times, however, his arms will fling out and those once-sleepy eyes will snap open. Boo!

Lesson #3: Everything is Cute
And I mean EVERYTHING. The kid got a serious case of the toots while I had him on the changing table yesterday, and the musical sounds his hindquarters were producing started me giggling. Oh boy, will LilRunr hate that I wrote things like this. I guess he should be thankful that there’s no video to accompany it.

Lesson #4: Sleep is Required
Ah, the maternal instinct. When LilRunr needs me, all of my needs get pushed aside. Is he crying? I’m not hungry, I’m  not tired. I’m seeing to the boy. Of course, this eventually catches up to me…at which point Scott forces me to go sleep while he cares for the tiny tater tot.

Lesson #5: The Baby Monitor is My…Friend?
Don’t get me wrong, it’s a handy — heck, essential — thing to have. It is also, however, extremely annoying. EXTREMELY. The model we purchased has a bright blue power button that glows when it’s plugged into the charger…or flashes when it’s on but not plugged in. Have I mentioned that Husband needs a pitch black room to sleep? Yeah, the blue orb isn’t annoying at all. Then, when it picks up on any noise, the entire unit lights up. This is good in theory, but the audio cues are really enough for me. I wake up at LilRunr’s first “I might be waking up in the next 30 minutes to 1 hour” coo and then lie awake listening for my cue. Having the lights as backup is just annoying and unnecessary…oh, and then there’s all the stuff BESIDES the baby that the monitor picks up on. Like RAIN. Hooray for a continuously flashing blue strobe light! Now THAT’S conducive to sleep. (Oh, and yes some sort of control to dial back the sensitivity of the monitor is a great idea…there’s nothing like that on this model, though.)

Random Thought #1: Hey……….
You know what just occurred to me? I got totally gypped out of a classic pregnancy experience. You know that whole “leaving the hospital with mom holding the baby and being pushed in a wheelchair” moment? Yeah, never happened. Because the baby had to be “fitted” into his car seat before we would be allowed to leave, and also because they had me up walking around before I’d even completely regained feeling in my legs. I walked to our waiting car under my own power, and that was OK too…we were so happy to leave!

Random Thought #2: Comic Genius
I don’t know if this applies to every baby or just my super special genius baby, but LilRunr has a real knack for comedic timing. Of course, the little guy really only has access to toilet jokes right now, but his routine goes a little like this: Scott’s feeding him a bottle and is dutifully watching and bonding with the boy as Mom requested. I enter the room with a “Hey Scott, blah blah blah blah,” and Scott turns his head to listen to me. The instant his attention is diverted, LilRunr spits up all over him. Comic gold. There’s a similar routine that involves junior’s BMs and the repeated soiling of the changing table cover. I always think he’s done and go to changing the diaper, and he always has a little more saved up for the instant the diaper is removed. Thanks, kid.

Random Thought #3: I Shall Become the Master of One-Handed Typing
Having a baby has brought back the hunt-and-peck method of typing. He likes to nap while being held, and you can TRY to tell me that I’m spoiling the child but I’ll just tell you that he’s a month old and needs to know that he can count on us for comfort more than anything else. I might be wrong about this, but I don’t care. I really don’t think it’s possible to “spoil” the lad this early and I’m going to give him all the love he wants.

So. This post has taken 45 minutes to type with my left hand, as the right is occupied with 9 pounds of sleeping baby. We’ll see how much I can cut off this time in the weeks to come.


3 responses

  1. I need to see this baby! Urg. I’m angry with myself for my lack of seeing your child. He’s a month old? What the h have I been doing for a month?

  2. Um, from your blog, I think you’ve been stalking Britney and cooking without pants. Does that about cover it? Man, your life is so much more exciting than mine. 🙂

  3. I’ve never and will never understand wanting to run. I do however totally relate to babies, although not my own yet, and being tired and lazy. yaaaay meg! your tiny handsome fellow is just as fun to read about as look at his cute pictures!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s