Dear Barefoot Runner

Dear Barefoot Runner listening to an iPod with an extremely short earbud wire:

I’m not sure how to tell you this. It’s awkward.

No really, that’s it. Both that I have tell you and the way that you’re running — VERY awkward. The mincing little steps as you attempt to run without shoes on a sidewalk? The hands that barely move and must remain at nipple level in order to continue listening to your iPod? It doesn’t exactly contribute to an air of masculinity.

I know what you’re thinking…who am I to judge? I should be thinking positively and appreciate that you’re exercising. But what I mostly am is concerned…is running completely barefoot down 119th Street advisable? It makes me nervous. Would you consider buying some of those vibram things to protect you from glass, rocks, or other unsavory bruising or cutting debris?

Think about it. I’m worried about you.



2 responses

  1. this just reminds me of a ridiculous case study I did in school with a guy who was a barefoot runner who cut up his feet, went to a doctor, doctor said NO BAREFOOT RUNNING, but his “runner’s world” magazine said it was okay, so he went running TWO DAYS after getting his feet all cleaned up from the doctor, then he got gangreene and then SUED THE DOCTOR. uhhhh silly.

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