A Short Story of Fashion Unconsciousness

Tonight, I’m going out to eat with my lovely friend D. This is exciting. Why? Well, D and I have been friends forever, we both love food equally, and we both have the same opinions on various reality TV “stars,” so when you combine all of that with the fact that Mama Megan doesn’t get out of the house very often I think you’ll be able to understand my excitement.

On our last outing, we visited North for Restaurant Week. We had a lot of fun but both came away slightly dissatisfied. D because she let the waitress talk her out of some of her choices and the recommended dishes failed to live up to her expectations, and I because Miss Trophy Wife showed up wearing a very cute dress, leaving jean-clad-and-casual me feeling underdressed.

This time, I bet she’ll order just what she wants.

This time, you bet I’ll make an attempt to be cute. Not that I stand a chance of out-cute-ing D, of course, and not that this is a competition, but with any luck we’ll look equally put-together tonight.

Here’s the problem: I am the least fashion conscious person that you’ll ever meet. I am fashion unconscious, and this lack of fashion sense plagues my whole family. I’ve learned to live within its constraints, but every so often I strive to break out and actually…I don’t know…give a care.

As this is one of those times, the other day I was looking for a “cute and casual” dress to impress my pal. It was going to make me look like I knew what I was doing and it was going to take note of the fact that I have lost the rest of the baby weight and THEN SOME. A dress that celebrates my maturity and hotness. Something along those lines. I’m looking, and getting confused, and playing that awkward game of “is this a dress or a shirt?” when I see it…it’s the perfect combination of cute and casual. Something that I will be comfortable in but will still look fashionable. Perfect.

I’m patting myself on the back and looking for the right size to try on when I get a good look at the label…and then I see it:


Oh yeeeeeaaaaahhhhh. Nothing says, “congratulations on being somewhat skinny and fashion-forward” quite like buying a maternity dress by mistake. For crying out loud, Megan.

Fashion unconscious it is, I suppose. I guess I’ll stick with the clothes I already have. Maybe I’ll take a picture. Then again, maybe not.


2 responses

  1. Yes, please! I’d love to go shopping. Give me a few weeks to see if this weight loss sticks, and then I’ll be all about it. đŸ™‚

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